TOO SMART, TOO SENSITIVE, TOO CHARMING

I have been employed at Burning Tree since 2001. Previously in my career, I have worked in inpatient, outpatient and other residential settings. At Burning Tree, we specialize in working with a specific type of individual, the relapser. It’s what I call the “informal criteria” that best identify the Burning Tree client.

First, our clients are literally too smart for their own good. Their intelligence has become a defect of character because they have used it to outsmart those that would help them. They have become experts at lying, compartmentalizing, staging, justifying, explaining, excusing. By the time they are through with you, you’re confused and afraid to trust your own judgment!

Worse yet, they are so good that they believe their own lies, convincing themselves that they know best. They tell themselves that self-reliance works and they have proof of that, as they have manipulated the outcome time and time again. They have taken a “smorgasbord” approach to treatment, picking and choosing what they think they do or don’t need to do.

Second, the Burning Tree client is too sensitive. They take everything personally- the way you look at them, or don’t look at them, if you speak, if you don’t speak, what your mood is- they’ll react to it. These adults have a more difficult time leaving for treatment than a child has leaving for summer camp!

It is oftentimes difficult to see them as sensitive because they have become hardened and demanding. They have taken a “come here- go away” approach to love, leaving family members feeling emotionally exhausted and empty. And everyone tensely awaits that one hardship which will inevitably trigger them back into relapse.

Third, Burning Tree clients are “looking good kids” (regardless of age). They’re charming! Family members are right- they have so much untapped potential! Instead, they’ve “tapped” that potential to charm their way through life’s natural consequences. Based on assessment of their current condition, they would have been dead by now without this talent. The ability to charm has enabled them to manipulate their way through serious consequences with family, school, employers, the legal system, etc.

So many clients and family members feel hopeless by the time they get to us. They have decided the client is not motivated to recover, that the client hasn’t hurt enough to want to get clean and sober, that treatment doesn’t work, etc. None of this is necessarily true!

What is true is that it’s time to try something new. Like Burning Tree! Our challenging and comprehensive approach is designed specifically for the “too smart, too sensitive, too charming” client. The Burning Tree client challenges staff to work harder and be smarter, more effective, more intuitive. We listen to their behavior, not their words. We go deep to reveal their conscious and unconscious beliefs that underlie their resistance.

Julie Willingham, B.A., LCDC
Director of Marketing
Burning Tree
julie@burningtree.com